Friday, 21 December 2012

Christmas Goddess...Not!

My goodness how time flies, it's nearly Christmas already.  I was up early today and down to the butchers to collect my order before the world ended at 1115 GMT, or whatever it was.  Fortunately I made it in time, you'd think that the fact the Mayans got it a bit wrong would spread peace, harmony and goodwill to all men....not in my butchers, where I overheard this exchange.

1st man (in a very sarky voice to customer who was already being served)                
" Oh do excuse ME for being first in the queue"
2nd man  " Um, no actually, I was before YOU"
1st man (after some thought)  " No you bloody weren't, I entered the shop ahead of you " 

Blimey, I thought it was going to result in fisticuffs so I grabbed my snags and fled.  Back home it was time to tackle my mince pies, two dozen of the bloody things today. I'd love to be one of those very capable women that can turn their hand to anything but let's face it...I'm not.  I do like to 'make' (I use that term loosely) my own mince pies though.


 
 "Make your own mincemeat Delia ?  You're having a 'giraffe'!"




Delia reckons that once you've made your own you'll never use shop bought again but,


 there's 932 ingredients in it, it takes hours to prepare and quite frankly....


 
.............I've got a life.  I'll stick to my method, thank you. 





I did try a bit of Nigella pouting and finger sucking, but instead of looking alluring and seductive somehow  I just looked like a half crazed housewife.





Then I crept to the fridge just like Nigella for a 'feast',  do you suppose she drinks Brown Ale too? 


I bet she floats around her bespoke kitchen in a couture creation, reeking of Shalimarnot wearing floury tracky bottoms like me!  Eeek, don't tell Vix!


By Jove! I think I've cracked it.

 
 

After all this baking, 





and present wrapping,




I think I deserve a rest.  I'm back to Gatters tomorrow and this weekend will be madness, a big 'aaaah' now please as I'm working nights Christmas Eve and Day, but it will be much quieter by then.





Happy Christmas one and all.
xxx






14 comments:

Vix said...

Phwoar! I'd take you and your mince pies over posh old Nigella any day! You are hilarious, I loved this and will forgive you anything, even floury tracky bottoms.
Enjoy your rest before the weekend madness, give that kitty a cuddle from me! xxxxxx

Fliss said...

Ha ha Fiona! This really made me smile and your baking looks exceedingly yummy.
Lovely pic of your puss too and I can see you're way ahead of me on the Christmas prepping.
Hope you have a lovely Christmas too.
Fliss xx

Liz said...

Who on earth would make their own mincemeat - jar for me anytime! Love the pics! Have a great Christmas.
Liz @ Shortbread & Ginger

Debbie said...

What a totally fabulous post Fi, just what I needed after a day of bloody cleaning!!
your mince pie's look gorgeous to me. Must admit I do make Delia's mincemeat recipe (I made 48 of the little sods two weeks ago) but you are right there are far too many ingredients and shop bought luxury meat is just as nice.
Have a fab time, and "Speak" soon
Dx

Maureen said...

I did, on Christmas Eve, see two ver proper looking ladies tousling over the last pack of tomatoes in Marks and Spencers!

Jaki Morris said...

Hilarious!
You will of course hate me as, yes, I do make my own mincemeat! I have a spare jar you can have next time I see you.
It really is a simple recipe and I got it from Kirsty!

Have a fabulous Christmas, there was something quite fun about being at work at Christmas as I recall

Take care and let's organise a girly lunch in the new year. Come to me this time!

Love
Jakix

pastcaring said...

Hahaha, call the BBC, there's a new TV chef on the scene! What a laugh, you should feature yourself far more often in your posts, Fiona, you are brilliant!
The mince pies look great - sod making your own mincemeat, I have to buy mince pies as my pastry is like a brick!
Hope work is OK, sending lots of Christmas love. Have a brown ale for me! xxxxx

Vicky Hayes said...

You are hilarious Pouting Fiona! Hope you don't have to work too hard over Christmas and enjoy plenty of festive frolics when you've finished! Vicky x

Sue Berry said...

Loved you post making mince pies you ought to be an actress you looked great and love picture of pure in front of the fire she knows the warmest place in the house.
Merry chrismas

Sue xx

Eunice said...

Fiona you are a scream you should be on the telly, and as for your mince pies having had the pleasure of lots of your cakes I know yours could give Delia or Nigella a run for their money. You are far more photogenic pout and all. Have a great family lunch on Boxing day.

Eunice

Eunice said...

Hi Fiona

You know I don't watch cookery on TV but I love your cakes, you can say what you like about Delia but leave Nigella alone. I could sit and watch her all day but not for her cooking!!!!!!

Paul (next door as if you didn't know)

xx

Hope Adela Pasztor said...

Those little pies look so delicious! =)

http://pinkchampagnefashion.blogspot.com/

Misfits Vintage said...

HA! Love your pics!!! Sarah xxx

Sue W said...

What a fun post!!!
I'd never dream of making my own minced fruit either :)